Wednesday 7 December 2011

Time is a river

Time is a river,
flowing endlessly,
filled with rocks and turns.
Untouchable.
Unshapeable.
For it controls its uncontrollable self.
Time is fluid,
like a window
sinking slowly.
It's there but it's not.
Time is nothing
and everything.
It goes
and it stays.
The past still goes on.
In the present and future.
Time is a line,
while it covers everything as a blanket.
Time is a word,
given to something,
far beyond understanding.

- Louise Wolff -

Saturday 3 December 2011

Don't Say Goodbye

These lyrics on It's gonna be - Norah Jones were written for my dying friend. She passed this morning.


Don't say goodbye

Don't you think it's overrated
cause through all these years I've made it,
Now you stop calling me crazy
I've been living life for me

and all you talk about is this
when I wanna talk about that
So shut up and listen to me
I'm not gonna say this again

Don't say goodbye
Don't say goodbye
Cause I'm not leaving
Don't say goodbye

Doesn't matter where I'm at
I'm still me, that's that
doesn't matter where I've been
you are all still acting the same

And still it doesn't matter
how many breaths I took
all that matters are the moments
taking my breath away

Don't say goodbye
you wanna know why
cause I'll be sunbathing
in heaven

Why do they say
They say goodbye
But I'm not leaving
I'm not leaving

Don't say goodbye
Don't say goodbye
Just say you love me


Rest in Peace Brenda, we love you.



Friday 2 December 2011

How does one die?

How does one die?

As an old man, waiting for the end, Accepting that there is nothing more to change?
Sitting down for a minute and never standing up again?
Throwing down your sword and armour and accepting the fact that you have done enough?
Having cold steel driven through your body and wondering if it was all really worth it?
Watching the world disappear with nobody noticing?
Floating downwards into the darkness, feeling everything slipping away, together with your will to fight?

How does one die?

Young, careless, still beautiful when you enter the grave?
As a sacrifice for the greater good, when you don't know what happens after you're gone?
Falling down trying to grasp the meaning of it all?
Giving up without knowing you're only ten yards away from the road back?
Grasping for every ounce of light when your future is still in the dark?
Graceful with the knowledge that your sacrifice saves the world as you know it?

How does one die?

Alone, with no-one left to say goodbye to?
Together, with people you just can't say goodbye to?
Blinded, by the light that's calling to a better place or stumbling through the dark, not knowing where you'll end up?
With your hands in the air, cursing the fact that you are in the wrong place at the wrong time or hoping that they don't know the plan that's furiously forming inside your head?
Throwing yourself in front of a stranger, whose innocence is unknown to you?
Throwing yourself in front of someone bad, just not being able to let someone die in front of your eyes?

Stabbed in the back, betrayed by the friend you once protected?

How does one die?

Afraid of what comes next?
Afraid of the darkness or the light?
Peaceful, with nothing left to stay for?
Sudden, without knowing it was time?
Slowly, knowing you can never go back?
Painful, wishing the cold darkness to come fast?
Silent, wondering if somebody even notices?
Running headfirst into a situation you can never get out again?
Angry, for the world has betrayed you?
Curious, because death is a mystery to be solved?
Smiling, because death is just another life to live?

How does one die?

One dies the death he has been living.

Thursday 17 November 2011

Lyrics

So recently life's been a bit down and I decided to put all these emotions in writing lyrics. I've made the following lyrics on the song Give your heart a break by Demi Lovato.
I named the lyrics 'Bleeding hands' but I'm not sure if I'm gonna change it or not. Maybe it's fun to try and sing along? ;)

Bleeding hands

I'm calling for sirens
it's too late, I'm going down again
still calling, through sandstorms
when sand is, still choking me inside

but at what cost, I'm trying, I'm failing
and still it's not enough
these red lights, are fading
alarms sounding far away

I wanna wave to the world
I just wanna leave all the wrongs
inside of my bleeding hands
I carry the weight of a world
There's nothing left to give
And I'm as dry as the sand, the sand
So let me, I just wanna go
I wanna go
let me go alone
I wanna go
go alone

Some day, It's too much
and I will, cry for help get no reply
don't blame me, if I go
alone, where nothing makes me cry

the storms is still, in my head, in my hands,
cutting away my at my strength
with weak knees, I fall down
I curse it all with both my hands

I wanna wave to the world
I just wanna leave all the wrongs
inside of my bleeding hands
I carry the weight of a world
There's nothing left to give
And I'm as dry as the sand, the sand
So let me, I just wanna go
I wanna go
let me go alone
I wanna go
If I could just leave it all
leave it to fall
I just wanna go
I wanna go
go alone

When my heart's still beating strong
When my mind sees right from wrong
When my hands still heal with time
The world will still be mine
woah

I wanna wave to the world
I just wanna leave all the wrongs
inside of my bleeding hands
I carry the weight of a world
There's nothing left to give
And I'm as dry as the sand, the sand
So let me, I just wanna go

I'm not the only one,
staring in a mirror wide
reflecting words undescribed
when all you need is to hide
I just wanna wave to the world
just leave and never come back, come back
so let me, I just wanna go
I wanna go
let me go alone
I wanna go
If I could just leave it all
leave it to fall
I just wanna go
I wanna go
go alone

I'm calling for sirens
it's too late, I'm going down again


Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.
X.

Monday 14 November 2011

One girl. Many worlds.

See, I don't really know where to start.
I can begin the crap about my name, my age, my hobbies...
But why should I? Probably because I don't know anything to say right now.
Well, fine, I'll tell you something about myself. I'm a 17 year old girl (17.5 to be precise). So that's it, no more info. No, really. I really don't... Oh fine! I live for music, whenever there's still music somewhere on this planet it's worth living for. Except if it's that throat-ripping they call metal or that ear-gnawing kind they call 'smartlap'. *shivers*
I also live for stories. I love reading books, I also like writing my own books. ;) I've got more than ten and none of them is finished. It's not because I'm lazy (actually I am) but because the stories are so complicated and extensive that it takes a lot of time finishing them all. I often switch between writing, one month I continue with that story and the next month I begin writing an other story again.
I've grown a lot in these past years, yes also in length but also in my abilities and thinking. If I compare the chapters of a story I wrote three years ago to one I've just recently started it's a world of difference. My knowledge of the english language has grown and my stories are easier to read and they have a much better construction. I can't remember the exact moment I started writing but I do remember that the people I've shown my stories to have always been very supporting and positive about them. I really can't wait until one of my stories is finally done!
I've started this blog to tell about my life, but I just got the idea of posting things my stories here. They are a big part of my life after all. Every story has its own world and those worlds live in my head every day. Almost every day I have new ideas, sometimes too much to handle.
The most beautiful about writing is that the worlds you create are entirely yours. You determine what seas and what lands exist. You decide what kind of people live there. You decide their dreams, their thoughts, their actions. You control who they love and who they hate. you control who lives and who dies. You control every single action in that world. Every single one of these worlds is a part of me, so I'm never really alone.
When I write I see the world through the eyes of the main character, I become the main character. It's a feeling I can't describe. This may sound all cheesy to you, maybe not. It's still the truth for me.
Anyways before I become totally lost in all of my worlds I still have to do something in this one, namely finish this blog.

I hope you enjoyed it.

How do we show our thoughts? How do we show ourselves to the world? Who are we?
We are words, not war.